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1 Samuel 20:1-42. For Those Who Long For True, Lasting Friendship. By Kevin E. Jesmer

For Those Who Long For True, Lasting Friendship

 1 Samuel 20:1-42                                                                                                          Lesson 12

Key verse 20:42                                                                                   Kevin E. Jesmer 4-29-15

(See selected verses in chapters: 18:1; 3-4; 19:1-7; 2 Samuel 1:17-27; 2 Samuel 9:1-12)

 “ Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, ‘The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’ ” Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town.” (NIV)

david and Jonathan

Jonathan was the crown prince, but he knew that not he, but David would be the next king. Jonathan and David were real friends. He loved David more than he loved the crown. Their brotherly love was pure, for it was based on their love for God. They made a covenant–and they both kept it. Their bond of friendship was never broken. These days, such friendships are rare—for people without God can’t respect or trust one another. Many live their lives in social isolation, never opening their hearts to others. In godless relationships people use each other out of their selfishness. The digital age, people are hindered from initiating new, “face to face” friendships. They are content with ambient awareness of each other. And so people are lonely. The friendship between David and Jonathan in 1000 B.C. has a lot to teach the people in our age today. May God give us true, godly friendships based on a mutual love of God. May our lives be filled with real friends who love God first. May we be true friends to others by learning from David and Jonathan.

Part l: The Background Of Jonathan’s Love For David. (18:1; 3-4; 19:1-7)

 

David was a man of faith, a loyal subject to King Saul, and a hero to his people. As he was faithful to God and loyal to his king, his sorrow at being hated by the king was unbearable. But he did not plan a coup d’état, riding on his popularity. He first went to Samuel, the man of God, for counseling. Next, David fled from Naioth at Ramah and went to Jonathan to plead with him to save his life from the hands of the king. He made his plea was based on his innocence. To young David, life was not easy. It was as if he was in a storm at sea.

 

Jonathan was the crown prince. In history, many ambitious men killed their own siblings and even their fathers to occupy the throne of the king. Jonathan was also a human being. He was tempted as any young prince was. And so he must have struggled a lot when David came to him for help. But his love for God and his love and respect for his friend David helped him to overcome. He overcame selfish ambition and was willing to concede the throne through putting faith, love and respect into practice. And so Jonathan tried, but was helpless to help his friend. David’s crisis was beyond his help. Events were set in motion. God had plans for David, as we will study later on.

 

Part 2: Friendship Forged In Fire (20:1-42)

 

What did Jonathan do to help his friend? Look at 20:4; “Jonathan said to David. ‘Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do for you.’” David requested that Jonathan investigate to see if the king were determined to harm him or not. Jonathan was slightly in denial about what his father was up to, but he promised that he would let David know. They arranged a place where Jonathan could reveal to him the truth.

 

Jonathan knew that David would be the next king. He also knew that his father was planning to kill David. Still, Jonathan had no sense of competition. He never thought of turning David in. Rather, he provided a way for David to escape. In addition to this, Jonathan blessed David to be the next king, when he said, “May the Lord be with you, as he has been with my father. But show me unfailing kindness like that of the Lord as long as I live, so that I may not be killed, and do not ever cut off your kindness from my family – not even when the Lord has cut off every one of David’s enemies from the face of the earth.” In saying this, Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David. (13b-17). Years later, David took great pains to fulfill this promise. Later on he invited Jonathan’s son Mephibosheth into his palace to live. (2 Samuel 9)

 

King Saul found out that David was missing from the king’s table. Jonathan defended David by saying that he gave him permission to be absent. Despite of Jonathan’s attempt to placate his angry father, Saul’s anger flared up at Jonathan and he said to him, “You son of a perverse and rebellious woman! Don’t I know that you have sided with son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of the mother who bore you? As long as the son of Jesse lives on this earth, neither you nor your kingdom will be established. Now send and bring him to me, for he must die!” (30,31) Then Saul hurled his spear at him to kill him. Jonathan knew for certain that his father intended to kill David. It was costly for Jonathan to keep the covenant of friendship. But in reality it was the expression of Jonathan’s faith in God, more than a covenant of friendship.

 

Jonathan left the feast grieving, and went out to give David the prearranged signal. The signal, ‘Look, the arrows are beyond you,” meant, “You must run for your life.” That was the signal David received. (37) It meant that David had to run for his life and begin his life as a political criminal. But giving this message and siding with David, Jonathan was putting his own life on the line, for Saul was a murderous person. After sending the errand boy back, Jonathan went to David. He gave David the freedom of choice to run or to approach him and say good-bye. David chose to say “good-bye” to his beloved friend. He bowed down before Jonathan to pay him homage. (41) Then they kissed each other, cheek to cheek, and wept together. They parted with tears, but their bond of friendship was consolidated even more. Later on, Saul and Jonathan were killed in battle. David, mourning his dearest friend, sang a song of tribute, called the Lament of the Bow (2 Samuel 1:17-27)

 

“17 David took up this lament concerning Saul and his son Jonathan, 18 and he ordered that the people of Judah be taught this lament of the bow (it is written in the Book of Jashar): 19 “A gazelle lies slain on your heights, Israel. How the mighty have fallen! 20 “Tell it not in Gath,    proclaim it not in the streets of Ashkelon, lest the daughters of the Philistines be glad, lest the daughters of the uncircumcised rejoice. 21 “Mountains of Gilboa, may you have neither dew nor rain, may no showers fall on your terraced fields. For there the shield of the mighty was despised, the shield of Saul—no longer rubbed with oil. 22 “From the blood of the slain,    from the flesh of the mighty, the bow of Jonathan did not turn back, the sword of Saul did not return unsatisfied. 23 Saul and Jonathan— in life they were loved and admired, and in death they were not parted. They were swifter than eagles, they were stronger than lions. 24 “Daughters of Israel,    weep for Saul, who clothed you in scarlet and finery, who adorned your garments with ornaments of gold. 25 “How the mighty have fallen in battle! Jonathan lies slain on your heights. 26 I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women. 27 “How the mighty have fallen! The weapons of war have perished!” (NIV)

 

What a beautiful friendship it was! Their love for God took first place in their hearts. David’s and Jonathan’s friendship is one of the deepest and closest in the Bible. They based their friendship on commitment to God. They let nothing come between them, not even their position, or career. They grew closer when their friendship was tested. They remained friends to the end. David and Jonathan’s loyalty and their fraternal love, make for one of the most beautiful stories of friendship ever told and forever remains as the standard of Christian friendship in the hearts of faithful friends down through the ages. Through this friendship, it was possible for God to establish a theocratic kingdom throughout Israel through David, fulfilling his promises. God works through godly friendship and faith.

 

Part 3: Jesus Makes Such Friendship Possible

 

God makes such true friendship possible for Jesus teaches us about true friendship. The Bible teaches us that we love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19) He sets the example. He forgives us of all of our sins and weaknesses. He laid down his life for us. He brought us into a covenant relationship with him by his grace. He saves us by his grace. John 10:11 reads, “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” As Jesus has loved us, and so we must also love those around us for 1 John 3:16 reads, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.” (NIV) Indeed, we are empower to do this, because we have taste the love of Christ.

 

In this passage we learn from Jonathan and David what it means to be great friends, friends who love one another deeply. In a world where so many people are lonely, their friendship shows us the way. Their friendship actually points to Jesus who is our faithful and true friend and who is the one who makes such relationships possible. God blesses and his history unfolds through godly friendships. Sometimes, nurturing such friendships is costly, but they are worth it. May God grant us true friendships in life, based on a mutual faith and love for Christ.

 

Part l: The Background Of Jonathan’s Love For David. (18:1; 3-4; 19:1-7)

 

  1. In chapter 18 and 19, we find references to how Jonathan respected and loved David.

Can we review them? (18:1; 3-4; 19:1; 19:4) How did Jonathan first show his love for

David? (18:3,4) What does this mean?

 

  1. When Saul directly ordered David killed, in chapter 19, how did Jonathan defend and

protect him? With what result? (19:1-7) What does this reveal about Jonathan?

 

Part 2: Friendship Forged In Fire (20:1-42)

 

  1. After seeking Samuel’s spiritual help, (19:18) where did David go for help in resolving

his problem with Saul? (20:1-3) What does this show about him?

 

  1. Who was Jonathan and what did he stand to loose by helping David? What was his

response to David’s plea for help? (20:4) How could Jonathan have such an attitude?

(14:6-7)

 

  1. What did David ask Jonathan to do for him? (5-10) What did Jonathan promise David?

(11-13) What was the content of their covenant? (14-17) Why? How was Jonathan to

inform David of Saul’s intentions? (18-23)

 

  1. What did Jonathan learn from his father’s intentions toward David? (27-31) When he

tried to defend David, what happened? (32-33) Describe their parting. (35-42) How could

Jonathan and David have such a beautiful friendship?

 

Part 3: Jesus Makes Such Friendship Possible

 

  1. Describe some of the qualities of Jonathan’s friendship from this passage? How did

David describe his love for Jonathan? (2 Samuel 1: 17-27)? How did David stay loyal

to Jonathan even long after his death? (2 Samuel 9: 1-12)

 

  1. What can we learn about true friendship? What does Jesus teach us about friendship?

(John 15:13-15; John 21:5; Luke 7:34, Luke 16:9) What does the Old Testament say

about friendships? (Ecc 4:10; Proverbs 18:24; Proverbs 17:17; Isa 41:8; James 2:22-23.)

How can you have friendships like that of David and Jonathan?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 




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