4-14-13. Ephesians 5:21-33. SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER – my devotional

Ephesians 5:21-33                                                                                      Kevin E. Jesmer

Key Verses: 5:32,33                                                                                   4-15-13

“This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

     Dear Lord Jesus Christ. I thank and praise you for you great love for us, that you laid down your life for us that we may be forgiven and brought into eternal life. Lord, I thank you for the blessing of marriage. Help us to know that meaning of submitting to one another in the context of marriage. Help us to understand Jesus better through all of this. Bless the Art of Marriage seminar. May it be fruitful and edifying and strengthen marriages so that the love of Jesus may be revealed through us. Please grant me one word of God through this passage. I thank you and I pray in Jesus’ name. Amen!

Part 1: Wives, Submit To Your Husbands (21-24)

     The first part of this passage has to do with mutual submission within the marriage. In verses 21-24 we first think about wives submission to their husbands. “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. ²² Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

In order to understand this passage, we need to think about Christ and the church. The mysterious relationship between Christ and his church is compared to the relationship between a husband and wife. Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now the church submits to Christ. Jesus is our Head. He is our leader. He is the example. He is the one who loves us and the one we love. He is our Savior and we love him so much for saving us from our sins, in the past and each day, even now. We love him because of his grace poured out on us daily. We love him because he is our humble and kind and supportive and wise friend who is with us and guiding us and growing us every day despite of our sins and our weaknesses. We submit to Christ, because it is good and right to do so. His union with us is holy, pure and permanent. We submit to Christ because we love him. His love draws us to him with his truth, justice, holiness, righteousness and love. We willing surrender our hearts and lives to him as our head because Jesus is so beautiful and our hearts are so moved by his grace.

Position and roles in the family are important. Verses 22-24 read, “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” A wife should respect and submit to her husband. But this submission has a deeper meaning. The woman is submitting to Christ, actually, by practicing submission to her husband. Each believer has a spiritual union with Christ. He is our Savior. He is the Lord of our lives. He is one we submit to.

I usually thing that submission to me is not that hard. I don’t make many demands. I work. I give my wife my paycheck for she is the family treasurer. I make sure that I am working enough shifts and keeping some basic order in the household and I keep certain standards, concerning drinking, drugs, school work and basic human behavior. That is it. For the last 1.5 years I make very little demands about anyone submitting to me. But I realize that my passivity and sad feelings, at times, make it hard even for Julie to submit to my leadership. Julie does try to submit to me as a Christian wife. I thank God for this. She is very humble to even attempt to submit to me and my leadership in the name of Christ.

What does my wife’s submission mean to me? Lord, teach me what this is all about. Teach me the beauty of submission to Christ first and to other in light of Jesus.

Part 2: Husbands, Love Your Wives (25-33)

Husbands have a somewhat different mandate. Look at verses 25-33, “²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansingher by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” ³² This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Men must love their wives as Christ loves the Church. Look at verses 25-27, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansingher by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” According to this passage I learn that I need to love Julie as Christ loved the church. Jesus gave himself up, totally for the church. Jesus wanted to make her holy. Jesus gave the church his word. He is concerned about her soul, her eternal life, her righteousness. Likewise a husband needs to care about his wife’s relationship with Christ. He needs to love and serve his wife as the Christ loved the church. Loving and serving and caring unconditionally. That is what loving your wife is all about.

It is not 50/50 agreement. This never works, because both parties can not agree on what 50/50 is. And, lets face it…there will be times when we are totally unable to contribute our 50%. What about a car accident? Depression? Financial insecurities? Our own insecurities? The demands of time? Etc? What will happens when you or spouse cannot put 50% effort in the relationship? Will you live in constant disappointment and judgment? Will you live a joyless life, daily feeling for forced to do what you don’t want to do? Will you pack your bags and leave, searching for that certain someone who will be able to give you the 50% you constantly demand? That is why the 50/50 plan does not work in marriage.

We need the 100/100. Husbands need to love and serve 100% unconditionally, without any caring about returns. Even if the spouse does not give their part; even if they give nothing, we must be willing to give 100%. God will bless this. Jesus is our strength. He loved unconditionally. He gave us 100% of his love. He understood that we could return only a small sliver of the love that he gave us. Christ’s love and Christ’s example is our inspiration to enter into the 100/100 plan with our spouse.

I find it hard to do this. I have this notion in the back of my mind, that everyone needs to pull their own load. I actually get mad about movies and music videos about songs and stories about fathers who are called to step up to be leaders in their house, while the wife and kids are stuck in sorrow and depression because the husband and dad is not meeting their needs. I think that the wife, the husband and even all of the kids have certain responsibilities and need to step up and follow Jesus and contribute being part of the relationship. But I realize that my mindset has been in the 50/50 plan. These movies and music videos are actually urging the husband to step up and love their wives and their kids as Christ loved the church. I should not have gotten mad. I should have learned an important lesson.

I also have to think about my wife’s spiritual life and her relationship with Jesus Christ. Look at verses 26-28, “²⁶ to make her holy, cleansingher by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” Family Bible study is no longer part of our lives in anyway now. I can pray for Julie. I can speak of spiritual things once and while, but it is not like I promoting systematic, textual Bible study in my home. I am leaving the Bible study up to the church. I can lead by godly example I guess. I can post my meditations on the internet hoping that someone may read it. But I guess, one thing I can do is care about her soul and her relationship with Jesus and the development of the inner beauty of her soul. May God grant me wisdom on how to do this.

I need to love my wife as my own body. Look at verses 28-30, “²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body.” I do take extra care of my body. I feed it good food. I take supplements. I exercise. I rest when I need rest. I fill my mind with good things. (at least I think they are good.) I take extra care looking over the weak parts of my body. I try hard to make my body presentable. I want my body to live long, and be strong and be able to enjoy freedom. There are many ways that I love my body. But through this passage I need to take a lesson from how I love my body and apply that to how I must love my wife.

     It is not hard for a wife to submit to a husband who loves her as Christ loved the church. We know Christ loves us, so we joyfully submit to him. All of us must be filled with the Spirit and submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (21). But even if it only one member of the marriage, they must submit to and love their spouse as Christ loved the church. Julie would have no problem submitting to my leadership in the home if I loved her in this way.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for Jesus, my Savior. Grant the right relationships with one another in our homes born out of your grace and love for us. May the love of God be manifested among us.

One Word: Reverence Christ as Lord; submit to one another.