“Be Still My Soul” a spiritual blog by my daughter, Jenn
Be Still, My Soulby jennsmer |
4-29-2013
Link to original article
In 45 hours I will be on my way to MarkEAST. My exams will be over, I will have moved into my new apartment, and officially done with my first year at McGill.
Secret: I am exhausted. One of our prayer topics before Urban Partnership was that God would be working in us to prepare our hearts to learn what he wants us to learn on this journey. So, because I am a fan of peace and joy and every other easy blessing of God’s, I assumed that meant that God would spend a couple months making me feel better, helping me let go of my worries and focus on him. Then, I would get to UP in spiritual zen mode and ready to do God’s work. Didn’t work like that. In fact, just the opposite. As I was aptly reminded in Mark 4, when God works in my heart, it is going to involve a lot of weeding and removal of rocks, and a lot of turning over and cracking of dry soil in order for anything to be able to grow.
I haven’t updated this blog in a while, and it isn’t because I have nothing to say. One of the things God has been showing me is that I like to hold onto control. I like to control how other people perceive me. Normal, right? But sometimes this control means I am too afraid to write what I feel or think because I know that they will be a reminder down the line of how I was wrong. I learn new things every day, and then I look back at my old ideas and old ways of doing things and I feel ashamed. I have a desire to erase it all.
2 Corinthians 12:9: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
Grace is a hard gift to bear. Learning to love unconditionally is as hard as learning to accept unconditional love and grace. Maybe even harder.
Anyway, just wanted to quickly update. If you haven’t heard about UP, check out my previous posts. If you would like to donate and have not done so, easiest way to donate is to go onto the IVCF website and use a credit card: https://www.ivcf.ca/sslpage.aspx?pid=605. Search for “Montreal UP – Jennifer Jesmer” in the box that says “Fund Description” in order to credit the donation to my account.
Happy trails, world, and God bless.
Interact with us using Facebook