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Book Notes on “You Lost Me” by Julie J.

YOU LOST ME
• Disdain for one-sided communication
• Church is not safe and hospitable place to express doubt
• “reverse mentoring” ~ lots to learn from emerging generation
• Need for new architects to designed interconnected approaches to faith transference
• Promote an ecosystem that supports more vibrant faith formation
• Culture demands of us Bonhoeffer-like clarity and leadership
• 3 types of Lost: nomads, prodigals, and exiles
• What about the quality and vigor of faith among those who don’t drop out?
• Youth are unprepared: incapable of reasoning clearly about their faith and unwilling to take risks
• “me-and-we contradiction”: extraordinarily relational and remarkably self-centered
• Consummate collage artists; expect and relish diversity
• Little guidance is provided to connect vocational dreams with faith in action (excellence)
• Can the Christian community relearn to esteem and make space for art, music, play and design?
• Information/ knowledge versus wisdom
• Young generation are the least likely to believe in and experience the presence of the Holy Spirit
• New focus needed on apprenticeship: teaching, instructing, engaging and developing lives
• Mosaics are living through discontinuously different social, technological and spiritual change


o 3 key areas
 Access – unlimited exposure to others ideas and worldview (< 10% textual)
 Alienation – truly more independent of family, community and institutions
 Authority – tech savvy but not truth savvy; exposed to more relative variety
• Compounded and complicated set of cultural changes; result is fluidity, diversity, and uncertainty
• Expectations, values, behaviors, attitudes & aspirations are being shaped in complexity (worldview)
• Thought processes are growing less linear and less logical due to multi-dimensional connectivity
• Big issue: how to discover, value and nurture meaning, trust and intimacy in relationships?
• Traditional path to adulthood has been altered; not “done” until the age of 30
• Consider the battle between Encarta vs Wikipedia. Grassoots, collaborative approach resonated.
• Digital revolution, endemic social change, and a shifting narrative of faith have deeply affected the cognitive and emotional process of “encoding” faith; paradigm shift already happened
• The question is both old and new: natural part of maturation process + unique, pressing reality
• Nomads are: optional, Christian in name, faded faith, not angry, spiritual experimentalists
• Prodigals are: “no longer Christian”; hold resentment, disavowed returning, “moved on”, regrets are related to parental emotions, feel self-liberated
• Exiles: institutionally skeptical but not disengaged, moving “outside the walls”, frustrated with shallow expressions of faith, desire to integrate faith more into life, looking for instruction for their calling and/or gifts (biblical example is Daniel)
• A movie can point to Christ when it honestly portrays our human condition and invites us to experience something about redemption (e.g., Shawshank Redemption)
• Exiles are half-operating in mission fields of: science, music, Hollywood, media, military, university
• Identifying Disconnection between Mosaics and the Church
o Overprotective vs Discernment – fear and demonization or transparency in weakness
o Shallow – moralistic therapeutic deism; need for true humility and community support
o Anti-Science – faith is not verifiable in the lab; pastors distance from science matters
o Repressive about sexuality because of individualist sexuality
o Exclusive – holding borders too tightly
o Doubtless – safe environment to speak up about true concerns
• Exiles are using their gifts in the broader culture as missionaries, selectively demonstrating faith
• Need to measure the vibrancy & health of intergenerational relationships in community
• Shallow faith is the result of a discipleship problem (let’s share the blame!)
• Jews got something right: at Bar/ Bat Mizpah, responsibility is placed to contribute & be accountable
• Mormons got something right: rise early to reach kids church history and doctrine; half of youth give presentations in church; have some decision-making power at a certain age; emphasize marriage and mission
• Size matters: smaller groups produce more spiritual growth and transformation than larger ones
• Spiritual parenting: show them how to trust Jesus, live for God, and participate in the Spirit’s work
• Generation is hungering for substantive answers to life’s biggest questions
• Connect spiritual wisdom with real-world knowledge to help disciples connect faith with vocation
• Apprenticeship: discover and develop gifts; vocation will be result of thriving faith
• Millions get through college with a flourishing faith, given a “meaningful” connection to community
• Failure of some to keep faith after leaving home is result of failure to provide a sufficiently strong set of relationships, sense of purpose or whole-life coaching (unprepared)
• “the language & literature of Babylon” that Daniel studied included knowledge, history & philosophy ~ in other words, inculcated into the Babylonian way of seeing and communicating about the world
• Encourage scientific thinking: clear, honest, and comprehensive (context and philosophy also)
• Need for a scientifically credible Christian mentor/ leader in the church to walk alongside Mosaics and reason together through competing truth claims
• Students who see the world for themselves through a biblical lens are best prepared to face intellectual challenges – not teach them what to think, but how to think
• Healthy tone of community: assuming the best of each other, praying for one another, listening to voices of truth, taking care not to toss around emotionally charged words in discussion
• Isaac Newton: was able to hold his scientific discoveries in tension with his faith, rather than replacing his view of God with confidence in natural laws
• Sense of wonder and thoughtful inquiry can lead to worship rather than deny God
• Traditionalism vs Christian Traditions: traditions are a significant features of spiritual wholeness emerging from an understanding of God’s revelation in the bible; traditionalism is human-made rules and regulations ~ need to distinguish these and focus on thriving, grace-filled relationships
• Need to rediscover the relational narrative of sexuality, as it affects community and society
• Sex is not about me, it’s about us
• Hallmarks of mosaics: conflict-avoiding, seeks consensus; emphasizes fair over right
• Unexpressed doubt is one of the most powerful destroyers of faith – speak up and deal with it
• Our children cannot catch what we don’t already have
• Good measurements for spiritual wellness:
o Knowledge of and love for Scripture
o Clarity about gifts and vocation
o Willingness to listen to the voice of God and follow his direction
o Evidence of fruits of the Spirit at work in their lives
o Depth and quality of love and service for others
• Avoid impatience and the urge to control
• Current societal values: fairness over justice, consuming over creating, fame over accomplishment, glamour over character, image over holiness, entertainment over discernment
• Wisdom is the spiritual, mental and emotional ability to relate rightly to God, to others and to our culture
• Older brother syndrome – be honest and release the resentments toward new generation
• Good Ideas:
o Throw ourselves on the honesty grenade, and in the process, give others the gift of going 2nd
o Teach an all-encompassing, multi-dimensional gospel
o God hand-crafts disciples and so should we
o Recover the imaginative, creative life born through saving grace & hold it out as an invitation to follow
o All legitimate work is significant and valuable; common grace for the common good
o Take a risk and demonstrate that Christianity has a pulsating heart
o Untwist the distortions of modern music and compare with message of Song of Songs
o Release youth with authority to innovate and forge a new path with what we give them
o Demonstrate what church has and wants to give that can be found nowhere else
o Move from culture of Brittanica/ Encarta (closed & controlled) to Wikipedia (collaborative)
o Allow for innovation without threat and inspiration without judgement
o Lift up the God of Justice
o Give the next generation a philosophical vocabulary with which to understand the eternal questions of the human experience (teach how to think and lead thinking to real “truth”)




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